The theme of this month's MOMs dinner was a meet and greet with our new senior minister. Who is INCREDIBLE! She is brand new to our church so definitely inundated with invitations and requests. It must be hard to be the center of much attention under a constant spotlight. But Pam handled it with grace, wisdom and a calm that draws me right in. She is appropriately reverent and guarded while also being warm, welcoming, and friendly. She seems very real and approachable; although I am admittedly intimidated by the enormous flurry of activity and obligation surrounding her (it is hard to be on the spot for the short moments of introduction to say something meaningful). And oh man her sermons are home runs! Thank you God for an engaging minister to help us learn and grow in our faith. We are hungry for this direction as we dive back into our church community.
During our time tonight she spoke about the role of young mothers in our world. We chuckled when she reflected on the way our culture really "conspires" against mothers trying to balance it all. Home! Work! Church! Well-behaved kids! That we are often flooded with guilt, striving, self-doubt, to-dos, and constantly caring for others - never feeling like we have it just right. And with very little time for ourselves.
Pam had many profound thoughts and answers. Most of our questions revolved around a theme of how can we as parents ensure a foundation of Christian faith in our young children? How can we set them on the "right" path? She referenced a book called "The Art of Loving" published in the 1950s and also the Biblical analogy of the "land of milk and honey." Both the book and analogy are pertinent with similar philosophies.
- Pam spoke about "milk" in this case as the way we nurture our children. How we protect, care for, guard, guide and teach them.
- And that "honey" as the zest for and delight in life we hope for our kids. We want them to love life - to have fun in and experience life; to feel fulfilled.
Ultimately if we give our children too much "milk" there is no room for the "honey" - the crush of helicopter parents means there is little room for children to independently learn to experience the life God gave us. And that the way we teach our kids about this "honey" is to practice loving life ourselves for ourselves. We teach them the honey part by implementing what Fromm wrote about in "The Art of Loving" as self-love. According to Fromm, loving oneself is quite different from being arrogant, conceited or egocentric. Loving oneself means caring about oneself, taking responsibility for oneself, respecting oneself, and knowing oneself (e.g. being realistic and honest about one's strengths and weaknesses).
Which we can all do in the juggling act of motherhood.
This concept of helping our kids find God's land of both "milk" and "honey" was powerful. Here's hoping we can do just that!
Gosh I hope that makes coherent sense the way I wrote it. It at least connects in my brain!
We of course had to snap some friend and family shots for posterity....the last time we were doing this together was a week before we moved to Belgium. The feelings then of stress and transition were as ripe as the pumpkins. Another full circle moment.
Amicalola Falls in the Georgia mountains was beautiful. Truthfully we didn't even hike down to see the waterfalls but fully engaged in the mountains air and beauty from above.
There were lots of field day/get-to-know-you games. Kirk and Connor were in one group and I was in another as we went from station to station completing new tasks. In the game below the group had to balance on a beam and rearrange by birthday without falling off and without speaking.
It was a challenge!
Connor liked the birthday game, but the monkey bars were even more fun!
By far the most touching part of the weekend came when all these tween girls honed in on Connor and adopted them as one of their own. They watched over her and tended to her with adoring attention. Connor adored them right back. She thought she was 11 or 12 years old and loved all these "big girls!" Her newfound friends.
They patiently played "Ring Around the Rosie" and when we went hiking Connor was so cute as she scampered away from us to keep up with them calling out "Big girls, wait for me!" My heart just melted.
Connor was the youngest "kid" there. The retreat really seemed geared towards families with elementary or middle school age children. Can you spy her with her "big kids"?
In the evening we went with the "big girls" and Connor to the Birds of Prey show.
Connor of course sat with her "big girls" and paid no mind to us!
In the evening we were led in a square dance. It was tons of fun. Who knew we had it in us, but we were heel-toe-ing and dosy-do-ing right on down the line. Connor didn't want to miss out on the dance so sweet Kirk scooped her up in his arms and did the line dance with both of us. Someone came up to me the next day saying how Kirk dancing with Connor just exemplified good, wholesome family fun. Just the kind of fun the retreat was designed to nurture and encourage. I couldn't have agreed more.
The next day dawned rainy, cold and fogged in at the Lodge. But never mind when the "Big Girls" were still there to dote on and read to Connor.
It was a super duper weekend! Just as the poem said, we were able to "open the doors and see all the people!"
